I Sold My Soul To The Devil... Who Was In the Guise Of A PETA Enthusiast

While walking through campus today on my way to class, a girl suddenly approached me asking if I had had a chance to sign her petition yet. Overcome with curiosity, I replied "no, what is it for?" She quickly explained that it was simply a petition to offer more vegetarian and vegan friendly food options on campus, making sure to let me know that she was not implying that they stop serving meat altogether. Instantly, the thought of my vegetarian friends came to mind, and how difficult it often is to find a decent selection of food within their diet in public dining facilities. I told her sure, I would sign the petition, and only seconds after having written my name and e-mail address on her crisp and well-prepared piece of petition paper, she handed me a booklet and a page of stickers. The stickers were the first thing I noticed: bearing slogans like "McCruelty... I'm Hating It" in reference to McDonald's, and depicting the iconic clown Ronald McDonald with an evil sharp toothed grin, accusingly holding a blood drenched knife allegedly used to kill the dead chicken hanging from the symbolic M of the fast food franchise.

And I soon realized that that petition may have very well been more than just an innocent plea for more meat-free food options on campus. What a load of crap.

I proceeded to flip through the booklet she had handed me. It was filled with "did you know?" claims like: "pigs are smarter than small children and love to play videogames" and "if given an apple or small ball, turkeys actually play games together much like humans play football or soccer". These facts were proceeded by other information and graphic images involving the cruelty of factory-farms, the negative effect meat and dairy products have on the environment, the turmoils of animal testing and dissection, the horrors of the fur industry, and the sadism of the circus. While some of these things seem worthy of some attention, I can't help but feel that many of the followers are a little... brainwashed.

I had a long discussion with a co-worker of mine who grew up on a farm and many of the facts and statements that PETA had given in their booklet (which was underhandedly thrust upon me) were either twisted, untrue, or vastly overrated. While I do strongly believe that animals should be treated with a great deal of respect and affection, there is simply no denying that it is nature to consume meat. Not HUMAN nature but MOTHER nature.

As far as fur and the circus go... fur is unnecessary and disgusting, and the evil clowns alone (as depicted on the McCruelty sticker) are enough to scare anyone away, not to mention the obvious exploitation of exotic animals.

As for the apparent student seeking a larger variety on her university menu, her having not mentioned anything about the organization she was advocating makes me wonder if I had actually signed a petition to expand the campus's vegetarian menu... or something entirely different. If you have a strong opinion, at least stand behind it rather than cower behind it.

Blow Me Away

I found this short story I had written a while back (obviously, a long while back: the XBox 360 hadn't even come out yet!) and thought I'd share. Very few people will understand it in full :P

Jake sat on the edge of his bed, an unmade one at that, but none the less it was a bed. Dave was sitting next to him (both of whom were of the British variety), and his other two friends, who were in fact girls (and of the American variety), sat on the floor. Each held a black game controller in their hands, staring at the television screen as if it had sucked the life from them and their bodies were now zombies within its power. The screen was split into four sections- one section for each player. The objective of this game was to kill each other, and try not to be killed by another. They sat in the dark, their faces lit by the T.V. screen, and eyes wide. They were playing Halo on the X-Box gaming console, which was actually soon to be outdated by a newer version coming in October: the X-Box 360. They however, didn’t care at the moment. They were focusing entirely on the game.

            “Damn it!” Dave cursed. Katie giggled a bit,
            “What?” She asked.
            “Jake’s character blew me up with a grenade!” Jake laughed,
           “Damn right I did! I kicked your sorry arse!”

          Meg and Katie laughed along with Jake, as Dave sat there still staring at the screen intensely and plotting his revenge. It wasn’t long before Meg and Katie battled each other, and both ended up dying. Then Jake and Katie met, and Jake won. Meg guessed it was because Katie had somewhat of a soft spot for him, and went easy. However, he probably went easy on her too. Then, Dave and Jake met again. Katie and Meg watched with interest as Jake attempted to run Dave over with the Warthog. But Dave had concealed a secret weapon- the rocket launcher. One pull of the trigger would release an explosive blow in Jake’s direction, throwing him out of the jeep, and possibly to his death. Jake swerved in every direction making the aim hard for Dave, but Dave hit him. Luckily, Jake hadn’t died, only lost an enormous amount of health. But there was still one problem: Dave still had a rocket launcher. But, what Jake didn’t know, and Meg and Katie did (after glancing at Dave’s fourth of the screen), was that Dave had used his only rocket on blowing Jake out of the jeep.

          Jake decided to make a run for it to the next shelter. Hopefully, there he would find health and a rocket launcher. Dave drew out his sniper rifle, and hid behind a rock, then zoomed in on Jake. He pulled the trigger. One blow to the head and Jake was on the ground. But, before Dave could celebrate his victory in vengeance (or even smile), he took a blow to the head as well and was dead. Katie had been behind him the whole time and he hadn’t known. But now, only Meg and Katie were left on the battlefield, and Meg knew where Katie was.

          Katie was armed with a pistol and assault rifle, both loaded. Meg with a sniper and shotgun, one shot left in the sniper. Meg was on the top of a building structure and looking down on Katie. She could take a shot, but she had to be careful with only one shot to give. Dave and Jake had been brought back into the game by now, but were both too busy watching Meg and Katie to want to do anything with their characters. Meg took a shot at Katie, and missed. But now Katie knew where Meg was and she was coming for her.

          Meg made a run for it, and hid inside the building she once stood on top of. Katie ‘accidentally’ glanced at Meg’s screen and noticed where she was, and there she found her. They rapidly began to shoot at each other with pistols (Meg had picked one up after she had entered the building to replace her empty sniper). Then they both drew their better guns: Katie’s assault rifle and Meg’s shotgun. Now, anyone knows, a shotgun would be the best weapon chosen for a battle like this, but not when you only had three blows left. Of course, she had plenty a chance to kill Katie… she would just have to make every shot. She shot her once, and received a chest full of bullets back. Then she made her second, now keeping distance from Katie making sure not to get shot too many times. Then she made her third, and missed. However, after a few more shots hit Meg, Katie was empty too. But, Katie had one thing Meg didn’t: grenades. She threw all four of them at Meg, who didn’t escape, and died. Katie couldn’t even escape her own trap, and also died. 

          After this, Jake and Dave noticed their characters were standing side by side, and Jake took a shot to Dave’s head, ending the game.

            “Yes!” Jake shouted cheerfully.
            “That is not fair! It’s not even possible!” Dave argued, “You can’t be brought back standing side by side! It’s impossible!”
            “Who cares?” Jake said, “I won!” He stuck his tongue out in Dave’s face, Dave pushed him away.
            “Remember the deal?” Jake asked everyone, they all nodded, “The two with the highest scores get to play cooperative mode and kick alien ass!” He reminded anyway.
            “Who won?” Katie asked. Dave straightened up, he was certain he had won with his great Halo skills.
            “Meg and I!” Jake said cheerfully, he held his hand out to Meg for her to shake. She smiled and shook his hand. 
           “Congratulations! You get to play with the legendary ‘Jake-inator!’” Jake complimented.
           “Uh…thanks.” She said slowly.

          Meg and Jake began their game, and Katie got up from the floor to sit with Dave. He was the only one, aside from herself, that wouldn’t soon be a zombie- meaning, he was the only one she could talk to and get a response. She noticed that after all of the losing he had done, his ego had slightly shrunk.